Hello, hello. ... Who do we have here? ... Quite a handsome gent, if I say so myself. ... Even though it looks like he hasn't washed his face in a while. ... Still, I like your soul patch, fella. ... I have one, too. ... I think that makes us "soul mates." ... Hahaha I'm just kidding with you. ... I do a lot of crossword puzzles, so I'm good with words. ... You don't say much, do you? ... What do you say we go out for tapas and a few drinks -- get to know each other better? ... Your cologne kind of smells like wax. ... It's strong, too. Very strong. ... Suddenly feeling dizzy. I think I love you...
INVISIBILITY CLOAK IS NOT WORKING.
Patrice Evra
Must resist the urge to sabotage team. ... Can't organize a walkout. ... Can't argue with the fitness coach. ... Just have to keep my cool and maintain. ... Just maintain. ... Can't throw a water bottle at Yoann Gourcuff's head. ... Can't say Franck Ribery was the one who did it. ... Can't slap Laurent Blanc's glasses off his stupid mean head. ... Sigh. ... I miss Domenech...
Time for the disgraces. ... First, I've been so bored this week that I actually let Kalou sleep over at my house so we could play Xbox all night. He keeps ordering movies off the TV and then doesn't watch them. He also spit toothpaste all over my bathroom mirror. That's a horrible house guest f***ing disgrace! ... Then, everyone kept talking about the England captaincy and I don't care about the England captaincy at all. That's an overblown f***ing disgrace. ... Then, we drew Manchester United in quarterfinals of the Champions League. That's a conspiratorial f***ing disgrace. ... Then, a fan stopped me on the street and tried to get me to say "It's a f***ing disgrace" like I'm some kind of one trick pony. That's an offensive f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those two bald referees who probably eat live baby seals cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...
Photos: Reuters, Getty
Laura Prepon Ashley Scott Michelle Behennah Julie Benz Saira Mohan
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