Danica Patrick: She Does Nothing, but She's a She so She Gets the Headlines

And so it is that the Fox Sports' fascination with cleavage continues.

I say that because, once again, Danica Patrick did absolutely nothing noteworthy or newsworthy in a NASCAR Nationwide Series race Saturday afternoon at the Daytona International Speedway, yet Fox Sports somehow determined that she actually did something noteworthy and newsworthy.

We know this to be so because Fox Sports trumpeted Do Nothing Danica on its website.

Here are the Fox headlines:

"Danica earns best NASCAR finish"

"FRONT RUNNER: Danica leads a lap, races amongst the best at Daytona"

"Danica leads, earns best career finish at Daytona"

"Danica Tracker: Career best performance"

You'll have to forgive me, but this is the most sexist pile of drivel I've read since...well, since last year right about this time when "Do Nothing" Danica began her flirtation with NASCAR, and Fox Sports began its love affair with her.

Not since Anna Kournikova has a female sports figure attracted so much attention for doing squat. Anna, blonde, buxomy and pretty, never won a singles tournament on the women's professional tennis tour, yet the media went all ga-ga over her because she was blonde, buxomy and pretty. Ditto "Do Nothing" Danica, except she's not blonde or buxomy. She is raven-haired, petite, and to be sure, pretty (although she has a hard edge to her).

But she's a she.

Thus, when she finishes 14th in a fast car race, as she did Saturday, Fox Sports considers it news. That's why there were four articles on Lady Da Da on Saturday, and only one on the person who actually took the checkered flag in the Drive4COPD 300. That would be Tony Stewart, who is an afterthought because he has the misfortune to be a he.

Who cares if Stewart outdueled Clint Bowyer? This is all about Lady Da Da.

And the fact that "Do Nothing" Danica actually led a lap, well, stop the presses! Man has landed on the moon! JKF is dead!

Seriously, this is news like Paris Hilton painting her toenails is news.

So Lady Da Da led a lap. Big deal. Trevor Bayne led nine laps. Joey Logano led 22 laps. Brad Keselowski led 17 laps. Mike Wallace led one lap.

But, hey, they don't have breasts. Even tiny breasts. So they're back-seat drivers compared to the Go Daddy girl, who, based on looks alone, is red carpet worthy

And I'm tired of it.

Are we not past the moment in history when a female generates headlines simply because she's a she? I'm all for girls playing with the boys, but if she's going to play with the boys shouldn't she actually have to beat the boys or, at the very least, give the boys a scare to become a headline story?

Apparently not at Fox, where cleavage has ruled the day ever since Al Bundy bought his first issue of Big 'Uns.

Dominique Swain Jamie Chung Alicia Witt Radha Mitchell Melissa Rycroft